I always knew that becoming a mum would change my life. I mean EVERYONE around you, (that has kids) seems to tell you so. But I really had no idea to what extent. I knew the things I use to do, I probably will no longer be able to do- like go out on a Saturday night, go shopping on my time, have a late night, go to the gym, go eat out at a restaurant when ever we wanted to, etc. I would no longer be able to sleep through the night, showers would be rapid races to finish before a baby awoke and my house would be filled with toys all over the living room floor, nappies and boxes of endless wipes. All those things happened, but they were the least significant changes. Motherhood changed my daily schedule, but it also changed a lot of other traits and habits of mine.
How being a mum has changed me PART 2:
1. I am truly content
Life was great before I became a mum but feels so much more complete since our baby came into our lives. Before I became a mother I always wanted more….. A better paying job which = more $, a bigger house, a nicer car, and more clothes (geez...always had nothing to wear I mean I COULD never have enough clothes), new makeup, new shoes, to travel more etc. I was grateful for everything I had but I was finding myself wanting just a little more. You see all those things give you a temporary happiness. When will it ever be enough? How long will that pay rise keep you happy or that new car, or house and honestly how many new pieces of dresses or tops, skirts pants do you ACTUALLY need or really WEAR? I mean I basically live in active wear!!
Once I found out I was pregnant I just had this epiphany of how utterly ‘blessed’ I was. I gained this aura of 'peace'. I was in a bubble of peace and contentment. After I gave birth and laid eyes on my baby I just started crying tears of happiness. It literally just dawned on me …..I was truly blessed with an angel and I had become the happiest and just utterly content with my life, myself and everything I had. It's a feeling I can't really put into words. Becoming a mum is the GREATEST joys that I've EVER experienced. Suddenly I didn’t want anything more. My whole state of mind changed. My mind was at peace. I didn’t want all those unnecessary things in life that are just ‘things’.
I spend my days covered in slobber AKA (what my husband like to call it) goo, milk and other bodily fluids- Yep I have been pee’d on, pooed on, managed poo explosions etc. I am a PRO at a quick nappy change. I spend my mornings talking my baby- in baba, dada, hi, buh –bye baby talk language and cuddles. I can’t rap off any popular song lyrics anymore, but I know all of the words in all of the nursery rhymes. Having said all this I know it sounds crazy to someone who does not have kids but I am UTTERLY content and I love everything about being a mum and my life. I have never been happier or content. I thank our creator for giving me the best gift I could have ever imagined. Nothing in this world could ever bring me the joy or happiness my babies do. They hve given my life a different meaning and purpose. This leads me onto point 2
2. New life meaning and purpose
Let’s be real…. After having my baby – yes I was the same person…maybe just a little different. The truth was I didn’t want to do the same things or be the same person. I wanted to be better for my son, daughter and for my family.
I want to be the best version of myself and family. In saying that I wanted to become a better person and I without even trying I have. My judgment has been replaced with compassion and empathy. Empathy runs deep. (It always has being a Scorpio). My babies pain is my pain. I view the world through a new lens. Everyone is someone’s child. It has allowed me to see all sides of every situation and have become a deeper more understanding person. I live with more kindness.
I also no longer care about stupid things or things I use to obsess over like my hair, or my body and stupid trivial stuff. I don’t ever want my daughter to hear me complain about things like that. My babies have made me into the person I was always destined to be. A Mother.
(Side note- I remember after I gave birth my midwives just looked at me and said I was born to do this. I was born to be a mother. They could just tell as soon as I held my baby. Having them say that to me all my fears of becoming a new mum were gone I KNEW I was born to do this. This was my calling)
My babies have given my life purpose. The love I have for my babies is unmatched and has continued to grow to levels unimaginable over the past year and is unconditional and will never fail or falter.
3. I don’t have TIME to F around. SO I get shit done. Period.
I had my first baby 20 months ago and my second baby 6 months ago and during this time…. I managed to : Start my own business, go back to FULL TIME – YES 5 Days a WEEK , mind you I was pregnant during all this and just to top it all off I still managed to be a chef, cleaner, maid, dry cleaner, mother, wife, banker etc. BASICALLY I get shit done. I can legit say I am the BEST MULTI TASKER .
The only “me” time I ever get is when both my babies go to bed. During the day my oldest doesn't nap, she fights sleep like the plague. So whilst my 6 month old sleeps for an hour I’ve learned PERFECT mum-hustle while baby naps. I complete more work in a day than I ever thought possible. Like I am talking the whole house and all the chores done… house dusted, vacuumed, mopped, washing done and hung up, bed sheets changed, bathroom cleaned etc... all int he time my babies nap.
It's all about using your TIME WISELY, being organised and having PRIORITIES. I don’t have time to fart ass around. Every spare minutes or hour I get are used to get things completed.
4. Being a mom has taught me to live in the moment.
Before I went back to work and was at home with my baby I made a conscious effort and decision to have my phone put away throughout the day. I would actually leave my phone in another room or spot where I had to physically get up and go get it I just couldn’t grab at my convenience ….why? Because I just wanted to cherish every moment and the time because I knew in a blink I knew it would be gone. I still try to do this when I am at home with my baby. I just want to give her my attention.
We all know this but so much of life is wasted because we are on our phones and (I am no saint I am 110% guilty). I do try to capture every moment on my phone still to this day with my camera or snapchat because my babies are changing every day and these moments are so important to me. I want these memories. Memories I can go back and watch or look at. But have made a conscious decision not to be on social media so much especially whilst my babies are awake and with me. I just want to give them all my attention.
I mean I would spend hours just on Instagram scrolling and scrolling and liking and searching and liking etc. And I don’t anymore. Yes owning my own business requires a lot of my time and for me to be active on social media but I do things either before my baby wakes up, prepping her meals or when she is sleeping. That's it. I miss a lot of things on social media but at the end of the day those things don’t matter.
Becoming a mother changes who you are. It changes you in many more ways than can even be described. You constantly have to search your soul for strength and learn more about yourself in the process. Maybe you weren’t who you thought you were before children. Maybe children changed you.
I lost who I was before I became a mother, but I found a better version of myself that I’m proud of.